I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
