she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize