id be glad to
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
