Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
