i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
