She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
