i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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