You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
