So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
