im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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