I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
