do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
