I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
