I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"