Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
there's paper in my vomit.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.