At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
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the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember