I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
