you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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