You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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