Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
