You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
