I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
