why didn't you poke me back
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
