Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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