Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize