We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
