she was so not down for the gang bang
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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