then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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