sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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