Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.

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(813): I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life. http://tfl.nu/zrqp

Replies (41) Good night (5004) Bad night (1201)
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(210): View more from Texas

I've decided to bang my pen-pal.

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(210): I've decided to bang my pen-pal. http://tfl.nu/dcyn

Replies (35) Good night (3810) Bad night (536)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request

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(908): no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request http://tfl.nu/jdk4

Replies (18) Good night (3913) Bad night (905)
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(805): View more from California

NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

(805): View more from California

He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You should probably go find him.

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(805): NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be?? (805): He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is. (814): You should probably go find him. http://tfl.nu/673m

Replies (11) Good night (3035) Bad night (933)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners

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(678): Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners http://tfl.nu/cs50

Replies (32) Good night (4230) Bad night (551)
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(256): View more from Alabama

The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.

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(256): The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing. http://tfl.nu/qyj9

Replies (23) Good night (1250) Bad night (4630)
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(443): View more from Maryland

repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.

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(443): repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. http://tfl.nu/ux00

Replies (16) Good night (5712) Bad night (1360)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"

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(905): I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by" http://tfl.nu/6dm5

Replies (12) Good night (1041) Bad night (2461)
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(303): View more from Colorado

New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night

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(303): New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night http://tfl.nu/j3fg

Replies (11) Good night (2325) Bad night (1208)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .

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(203): Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes . http://tfl.nu/go9x

Replies (10) Good night (1265) Bad night (686)
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(520): View more from Arizona

He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".

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(520): He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home". http://tfl.nu/zprh

Replies (8) Good night (1801) Bad night (949)
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(315): View more from New York

He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.

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(315): He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition. http://tfl.nu/pnv9

Replies (8) Good night (1089) Bad night (483)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

Outside

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(202): Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already (1-202): Outside http://tfl.nu/rkll

Replies (16) Good night (2299) Bad night (409)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.

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(570): I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka. http://tfl.nu/dcdl

Replies (0) Good night (400) Bad night (189)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.

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(602): Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/hvdo

Replies (5) Good night (1307) Bad night (260)

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