Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.