writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first