Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial

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  (908): i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial http://tfl.nu/oypl
  Replies (6) Good night (1568) Bad night (566)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.

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  (410): it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed. http://tfl.nu/fe66
  Replies (5) Good night (803) Bad night (1461)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You should dream of me :)

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm going to dream of single life.

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  (712): You should dream of me :) (402): I'm going to dream of single life. http://tfl.nu/hb9m
  Replies (24) Good night (888) Bad night (2786)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.

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  (303): Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina. http://tfl.nu/raau
  Replies (31) Good night (3868) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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  (757): Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/fb35
  Replies (24) Good night (1767) Bad night (5319)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...

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  (870): She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again... http://tfl.nu/jy0r
  Replies (18) Good night (4887) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life

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  (702): i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life http://tfl.nu/bh2z
  Replies (20) Good night (862) Bad night (7977)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.

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  (774): You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/e4s1
  Replies (9) Good night (2829) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird

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  (908): She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird http://tfl.nu/j88i
  Replies (3) Good night (1842) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I just got carded by a ten year old.

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  (713): I just got carded by a ten year old. http://tfl.nu/ytwr
  Replies (5) Good night (832) Bad night (881)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy

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  (413): She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy http://tfl.nu/8tz5
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (728)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?

  (863): View more from Florida

  I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on

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  (240): Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister? (863): I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on http://tfl.nu/xj2m
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (1400)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.

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  (612): My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend. http://tfl.nu/nhy3
  Replies (1) Good night (934) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet

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  (931): You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet http://tfl.nu/z0gl
  Replies (0) Good night (714) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.

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  (646): I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously. http://tfl.nu/f1wv
  Replies (1) Good night (244) Bad night (467)

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