Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.

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  (502): i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower. http://tfl.nu/fhy8
  Replies (8) Good night (682) Bad night (3763)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.

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  (781): I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing. http://tfl.nu/7fgj
  Replies (17) Good night (5872) Bad night (1310)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.

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  (215): I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days. http://tfl.nu/h5el
  Replies (25) Good night (4334) Bad night (1213)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up

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  (972): He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up http://tfl.nu/uv7z
  Replies (6) Good night (3361) Bad night (840)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables

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  (807): Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables http://tfl.nu/0ytp
  Replies (11) Good night (5076) Bad night (1006)
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  (818): View more from California

  The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.

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  (818): The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs. http://tfl.nu/zk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (1986) Bad night (3585)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think you may want to look into that...

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  (519): someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement" (403): I think you may want to look into that... http://tfl.nu/qglv
  Replies (5) Good night (956) Bad night (2885)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look

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  (717): tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look http://tfl.nu/7aaf
  Replies (14) Good night (4261) Bad night (1014)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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  (+61): I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast http://tfl.nu/icj5
  Replies (6) Good night (2470) Bad night (838)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.

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  (210): I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful. http://tfl.nu/5n8j
  Replies (7) Good night (1921) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"

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  (843): It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?" http://tfl.nu/owjc
  Replies (3) Good night (792) Bad night (427)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

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  (970): I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me. http://tfl.nu/0q6n
  Replies (1) Good night (884) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."

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  (307): Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator." http://tfl.nu/nuq5
  Replies (3) Good night (394) Bad night (372)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..

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  (614): This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day.. http://tfl.nu/r5zy
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (266)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.

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  (623): My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today. http://tfl.nu/qhq3
  Replies (16) Good night (410) Bad night (1141)

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