haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.