Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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