Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
