I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
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Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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