i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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