You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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