Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
