at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
