Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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