They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
did i just pee glitter
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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