i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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