When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
