Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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