dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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