I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You dont lie about slip and slides
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
