I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
