Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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