it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize