i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
