just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
