He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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