Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
