And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
