Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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