My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I will die if light touches me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize