omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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