Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
