she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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