I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Too much gin, very little bucket
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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