just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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