I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
