They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
