that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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