If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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