My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
