Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
