Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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