Yo dont text me then not text me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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